Monday, 20 May 2019

The Reality of First Year

It really does feel like only yesterday when I moved into my university room and waved good-bye to my parents as they left me survive in the student world. But now first year is over,  I guess it is onto second year now (if I pass).

There is so much hype around going to university everyone boasting about how it is the best years of your life, maybe I am doing it wrong. Yes, I love my life here in Bangor but the actual university side of life here has been quite daunting. 

Leaving Friends 
This was probably the hardest for me. I have always had a safety net of friends with me whatever club or school I have moved to, I always followed people. University was the first time I was plummeted into a lonely abyss where I knew no-one in the first few days. I was lonely and envied my friends from home who looked like they were having the time of their lives in freshers, I guess I was jealous. I left many friends from home but gained many new ones. I found people I knew and found out how amazing they are as friends. They took me in and made me feel included and we have shared so many moments together both drunk and sober. I cannot wait to move in with them next year. 

The Socials
Guaranteed I am not the average university student. I do not enjoy going on club nights out and this year I did not apply to be in any society's, so I guess my first year has been what many people would describe as 'boring'. I do wish I joined some exciting and unique society to meet new people but maybe I will try that next year? I have not been to a club in university since Halloween and to be honest that really does not bother me. I would much rather have a Netflix night in with a Domino's. My kind of socials involves being with my friends at a bar, stuffing our faces with food and just chatting utter rubbish. 

The Work
This has been the hardest aspect of university for me except for the loneliness. Toward the last year of sixth form my mental health and education did not mix very well and this has been the case this year as well. I struggle with the motivation to do my work, with my anxiety preventing me enjoying particular elements of my course. Yes, I have not been to all of my lectures, not because I was hungover after a night out but because I could not bring myself mentally to go. I learnt that giving yourself a break and not being hard on yourself for needing time off was ok. The mental strain of university is not what most first years talk about but it is definitely tough to deal with.

Leaving Home
I have always been rather independent but in saying that I rarely went away from home. When I was younger I always got homesick and cried for my mum. But as I got older I liked my own space. I enjoy having my own space to call my own (even though it was a tiny box room). I feel like I have grown a lot as a person living on my own. I feel more like an 'adult' even if I am not very good at it. I never really missed home, I am not very far from it in reality, but still I would like to think I have succeeded in living on my own without dying.

All in all it has been a rollercoaster year, I will not lie there may have been slightly more downs than ups but I would not take this year back for anything. the first few months I struggled more so trying to get into a new routine and adapting to the university life, but it got easier and I enjoyed it more and more. I have grown so much as a person here in Bangor with the help of the people close to me here and I hope to continue to grown throughout my remaining years of university.

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