The Past Decade

I was once a girl who dressed in bright clothes and odd headbands. 10 years later, I am still that girl.

What has this past decade taught me? Well I started the 2010’s as a bright eyed, energetic 10 year old. I was a classic tom boy who loved climbing and swimming but also loved reading. Fast forward 10 years I’m now a less more energetic 20 year old who along the way has fought some battles, met some beautiful people and the most terrifying part is I became an adult.

The thing they do not teach you growing up is how to deal with emotions and changes going on with your body and life. From the age of 10 to 20 my body has gone through a lot of changes. I’ve been from primary school, to secondary school, to sixth form and now to uni. I made friends, I lost friends. I learnt a whole lot and not just to do with the academic side of things.

At the start of the decade I was faced with the excitement and nerves that came with starting secondary school. I loved learning and knew I was going to a new school with some of my best friends. A new beginning was what I wanted.

When I turned 12 I struggled with the changes that was happening in my life and in order to deal with it I turned to controlling behaviours surrounding food. For me this part of the decade was one of my toughest. I was blindsided as to what I was doing to my body and was hurting the people around me. I was consumed in my thoughts and do not really remember a whole lot from this time as I mentally blocked it out. 2012-2013 was rather tough on me mentally but I got through it and learnt a lot about myself in doing so, I used to not like what I saw in the mirror and now almost 8 years later I have learned to love and accept my figure.

2013 was the year I started this blog. I wanted somewhere to create, somewhere I could write about the things I was passionate about. Yes, overtime my passions have changed and I have taken many breaks from this site. But looking back I am glad I did this, I am proud of what I write about even if not many people see it and I think I will always come back to writing as a way to express myself.

2014, year 9, not a whole lot to say, not a lot happened, a walk in the park compared to all the other years if you ask me

2015, the start of GCSE’s, the start of the stress. The perfectionist I am I tried my hardest these years, I revised my butt off and stressed maybe a little too much. Now I know those results do not mean a whole lot to anyone, they probably weren’t worth the stress I put myself under, but I got the results I wanted and results I am proud of. I also began my veganism journey and expanded my knowledge on the harsh realities of animal cruelty, this year was when I started to want to make a difference to help.

2016 marked the start of sixth form. Moving schools again was a daunting prospect to a girl who is now more reserved and quiet when compared to her 10 year old self. I liked to stay out of gossip and not draw attention to myself, I liked fitting in. Sixth form was the biggest jump for me. We were thrown into a group of people who already knew each other, all had their own groups and a completely new environment. I was nervous but quickly found my feet in my new lessons and settled into a group of friends who welcomed the new kids with open arms

2017, where I loved sixth form and got into the swing of the new school fully. I had experienced so many new things, had relationships, learnt the stresses of the A-level workload and been to a few parties. All of this was new to the quiet now 17 year old me, but here was where I came out of my shell and developed more as a person to who I am today and I am thankful for the experiences I had in sixth form. I was comfortable in my body, I started the gym and no longer wanted to just ‘fit in’.

2018 was the final year before I was set free to move away to uni. This year I continued to grow as a person, I found myself and became a girl I am proud to be. I learnt to never be ashamed of what happens in your past because it makes you who you are today. This year impacted my mental health, something I hadn’t really thought of since 2013. Stress got the better of me and I found myself struggling with my A-levels, no matter how hard I revised. This year again was tough but I got through it with the help of friends and family and managed to get into my chosen university that was Bangor.

Moving away from home was daunting. I have always been a home body who didn’t enjoy being away, but I had to give it a try. I moved into Bangor initially not knowing anyone, I was alone for the first time in a while. I had always loved the sea and so I plunged into choosing a marine vertebrae zoology course which I still to this day love. Within the first few days I met two amazing girls and over our time at university we have become extremely close and share a whole lot with each other, they made the whole living alone situation a lot easier and I am proud to now call them my housemates. This year I also met a very special person to me. I wasn’t even really looking for him but he found me and I could not have asked for a better companion to go throw the crazy life that is university with me. With him I feel I can truly be myself and he accepts every part of me without judgement. I fell in love with the gym more than ever and I also restarted my blog wanting to write about things that I have battled with and things that I believed in.

2019 brought more university life and some crazy experiences. My course has been so insightful and interesting, something I truly do love to learn about. My friends are beautiful humans and I have met even more lovely people along the way. Yes this year may have been one of the toughest for me mentally towards the end of this year, but I have had a solid unit of friends around me to keep me going through the stress of second year and I couldn’t ask for better people to be moving into 2020 with.

So yes this past decade I have had my struggles. I have changed a whole lot. I had had up’s and downs. But this past decade I have found myself as a person and I have grown into someone I am proud to be. I learned to start to love myself and that I continue to try and do, so that I can properly love the people around me.